Self-Disclosure and Feedback: Some Transparency

"When an interviewer effectively self-discloses or provides feedback, the here and now atmosphere of the interview becomes more immediate, personal and real."

-Ivey, Ivey and Zalquett

I think it is very important for relationships to be transparent. From your marriage, life-partner, friends, parents....even to your clients, there should be very little, if any, muddy water between the individuals. So, full disclosure would have its own place in my counseling methodology, especially in my beginning practice. Seeing what clients are receptive to in your sessions are part of building your skills set and I think the first step in that process is disclosing your intent, but also for establishing respect, rapport and general well being in your relationship with your client. I like that the text addresses disclosure as balancing the scales to reach a more egalitarian relationship in the counseling setting. However, I do wonder how much disclosure would influence an particular outcome. For example, like the text states that doctors inform a patient about if, how much a procedure will be painful. It seems important to take into account, through careful observation how much this statement and subsequent "planting of seed" would influence the outcome and feelings of pain experience or perceived by a patient. Similarly, with a client, I think it crucial to observe whether your disclosure may influence a client's feelings or decisions in one way or another.

As for self-disclosure, I know that this is an area to which I will struggle. I have no problem sharing personal stories and am comfortable doing so, but I fear that I will share too much. I want to strive for an egalitarian atmosphere in my sessions but I think it counterproductive to tip the scale too far. If a counselor reaches a certain level with a client then the respect may be lost. Self-disclosure seems an art that has to be mastered, like oil painting. The practice can be exercised in full with some clients and others may need a more objective person. I think a counselor will have a gut reaction with each client as to how much they can disclose about themselves and to what degree is appropriate at what time. The combination of disclosure and self-disclosure would seem advantageous to both parties, though. Particularly, when addressing empathy, sympathy and cultural, gender, age or experience differences, a counselor can openly address that while one is coming from a place of understanding, that they are doing their best to fully comprehend. Using both disclosure and self-disclosure will be best when clients ask for advice.

Continuing with a discussion of transparency, feedback also plays and important role. We talk in detail about feedback in my education classes. After rapport is established, feedback keeps the relationship growing and progressing. Both client and counselor benefit when a continuous flow of feedback is fostered, after all, a static relationship goes stagnant because life in general is dynamic!

Experiential Activity: Career Counseling

For my experiential activity I attended career counseling sessions. Though I am aligned for a particular career in education as a science teacher, and my path is pretty set, I have been contemplating a career in counseling after teaching for a few years. The question that I posed to the counselor was, "Should I pursue another advanced degree in counseling later in my career?" At the first session, the counselor stated that she could not answer the question for me but that she could help me answer the question myself with her guidance.

First Session: The counselor seemed nervous at first, but after we began talking for a while about ourselves and to assess what I needed to talk about, she relaxed as indicated by her body language. I think her anxiety was stemming from the videotaping process. She explained her credentials and that the videotaping process was to evaluate her and not my responses. She was very professional. She had me complete an activity with index cards. There were categories ranging from very important to not important and I was given index cards with various aspects and qualities that people value in a career. The counselor was clear that this activity was to gain insight as to what I wanted in a career by assessing what was important to me. Afterward we discussed why I categorized the values as I did. I found the exercise very helpful in determining what I value most in a career, like ability to be creative, working with people, and contributing to my community. While this didn't exactly answer my question, the exercise did put into perspective why I chose the path that I did.

Second Session: We began by reviewing the previous activity and she asked whether I thought is was helpful and relevant. I explained that I found it very helpful. While I didn't think that it helped me discover something new, it did reinforce values that I knew that I wanted in career and life. She asked whether I had thought about the proposed question and if I had any questions for her. We moved along to another activity where she iterated that she would be asking a series of seemingly random questions but assured me that they had a purpose. The questions were comprised of things like, my favorite book, magazines that I read regularly, role models outside of my family, and three memorable life experiences that I had to assign newspaper headlines and last, but not least, a current motto. I answered the questions and elaborated on my answers. The counselor listened and took notes, asking me for more information when necessary. At times I felt pressured to come up with an answer to particular questions but not by the counselor. Perhaps it was because I was pressuring myself and thinking too hard about the questions and was caught up with the curiosity of how these questions were going to relate to the topic at hand. Finally, the counselor said I would have to wait until next time to find out the connection between the activity and the topic.

Third Session: I was anxious to see what was going to be discussed regarding the last activity as I had racked my brain to make a connection. However, I had faith that my counselor had a clear and distinct puprpose for the seemingly random questions because by this time she had established rapport. Also, by this session, her demeanor was completely relaxed and I could see more and more that she was going to be a great counselor. She rervealed that the questions actually indicated what was at the forefront of my mind now. She explained that if I were asked these questions at a different time, the stories may be similar but not the same, indicating what my brain was processing at this particular moment in my life. She showed me that this activity was rooted in particular theory and cited where and from whom she gleaned it, thought I cannot remember. We discussed my interpretation of the questions and what the theory said they meant and her interpretation to see if there was a congurency. This felt revolutionary and was like putting together a pieces of a puzzle. All of the stories and answers were related to two things...science and school! We discussed, and both agreed that the answer to my question was that I am exactly where I need to be right now. And according to my motto, which was be present, that I needed to heed my own advice. The best thing I can do for myself is just be here now, be present and focus on the task at hand. I use this advice now on a daily basis! Finally, she told me about Holland Codes. Together we looked on the internet and she asked me to read about the different personality types and which I felt that fit me best. I said, Doer, Creator, Helper. She said that she agreed and we talked about different careers that satisfy my three personality types. She introduced me to ONET and we searched for careers in my three categories. The first one that came up was Naturalist/Interpretor/Educator for the National Park or Forest Service. I thought, "Wow! That hit the nail on the head!" because that is a dream job. I remember thinking...I wish I had discovered this when I was first entering college.

Final Session:
We wrapped up the session with checking to make sure that my career question was worked through to my satisfaction. She asked if I had anything else that I wanted to discuss or any pertinent questions. I told her that I felt very satisfied and that the sessions were very helpful. She asked what I liked about the sessions and if there was anything that I didn't like, so she could take the advice and either use or discard certain things. I pointed out specifics that I found particularly enjoyable and helpful and recommended that I felt they could be useful in many situations with graduate or undergrads in the future. She gave me some resources that I could use, and place where I could find information if a career related question ever came up again. We wrapped up the short session and she stated that I could contact her if I needed anything else. We departed and I felt that overall, this was a great experience. I only wish I had utilized these kinds of services when I was younger, but I am just thankful for the opportunity to have it now.

Reflection of Meaning: What does it mean to you?

"We need to give clients power and control of the session whenever possible. They can often generation new interpretations/reframes and new ways of thinking about their issues."

-Ivey, Ivey, and Zalquett

To reiterate a statement from a previous post, I can feel the skills culminating, working our way up the skills pyramid. As these skills compile, I feel a little overwhelmed and anxious. Like, how am I going to remember all of these in one interview? I feel that this chapter somewhat alleviated that anxiety with the focus on meaning. The chapter reinforced that my role as the counselor is not just have all of the answers, or problem solve, or come to a conclusion through a rigid checklist. My purpose is guide the client through a journey to find their own answers and draw upon their own strengths to conclusions.

Reflection of meaning seems just an extension of reflection in feeling with just different key words that focus on purpose or vision, so that skill should come naturally. While reading the comparisons on pages 204-205, I kept thinking, "Wow, I would never say that." Perhaps that is simply comfort level as a beginning counselor or some of the answers may not be congruent with my personal theory. I can see my self reframing, as the book describes it as a gentler construct and I resonate more with the person-centered approach. However, linking, though it seems an important skill should wait for experience because it is a bold to link statements together because they could create a misunderstanding and rapport or relationship could be destroyed with a new client.

I particularly liked the section on resilience, purpose and meaning. The idea of teaching these concepts through exercises to avoid childhood depression and even to prevent adulthood depression was an idea that I feel like I would use regularly. This method would seem to be effective not only for developing minds who have difficulty with those kind of cognitive abilities, but also as an alternative for the interview where the counselor asks questions like "What does that mean to you?" in a repetitive fashion.

Multicultural issues in reflection and meaning was a great reminder to be aware that we as counselors should not make assumptions about anyone and the meaning that they attach to a particular context. I like the quote..."Individuals do not make meaning by themselves, they make meaning in a multicultural context." We must always be aware of the family, community, neighborhood and keeping the community genogram present to use as a visual and reference tool may be a helpful reminder.

Five Stage Interview Structure: Review and the New

THE REVIEW:
Since the first part of Chapter 7 was a review about the skills that we have previously covered, I decided to reflect on what I think my weaknesses will be as a counselor with regarding the skills that we have covered.

1. Empathy: I am a complete empath. I have no problem being in someone else's shoes. My difficulty will lie in separating myself from the client. If I see them cry, I will cry. I feel that I will take my work home with me and have some of my own anxiety from worrying about a client. Finding a way to let go, and be present for myself, my family and my other clients will be crucial in maintaining good relationships throughout.

2. BLS: Listening, presence, and intentional interviewing will provide the challenge of holding in my own input. I am naturally a fixer, like I mentioned in class and I want to tackle a problem head on and make everyone happy and feel better. It will take some practice in holding back my suggestions and need to "fix" and just focus on the BLS.

Upon examining these challenges as a counselor, I can't help but note that school counseling would be the right choice for me. Recognizing my struggles with tendencies of being overly empathetic and even sympathetic, I don't see myself as being a good therapist, or marriage and family counselor. I know now that I should stick to school. The realization that one is on the right path is a good place to be. :)

THE NEW:

As mentioned previously, I am a fixer, so I am pleased to find that this chapter covers the five stages that includes story and strengths, goals, restory and action. The text mentions Reality Therapy. I am interested in using this as a technique as I think it will reach young adults. I just recently met the garden educator at the UT gardens and he is beginning a horticulture therapy program. I love the idea of using real world situations and scenarios to gain access, build rapport and use skills gained to apply to other avenues of life.

Next, in the story and strength and goal setting stages, the book states, "the positive asset search should be part of this stage of the interview." This implies going back to the wellness model and it never hurts to focus on someones strengths. I thought this kind of overlaps with some of the suggestions in action-concluding. Using creativity and homework, role playing and even visualizations and meditation can lead a client to discovering their own positive attributes and even help them set their own goals. The counselor may see a strength and see a clear path to a goal but the client may see a root cause and an alternative goal.

Again, I really like the tables offerend that give sample interviews. They make the skills accessible and having the specific wordage is helpful for reference when we do our practice days.

Observing and Reflecting: The Inner Layers of the Onion

"The most effective interviewer or counselor consciously or subconsciously-develops proficiency in the art of tuning in with feelings."

-Ivey, Ivey and Zalaquett

Ah, feelings...now we are getting to the meat on the bone. But, with it comes increasing intensity and complexity. The textbook mentions that feelings are layered, like an onion. Yet, like feelings, the process of accessing those implicit feelings is as layered as the feelings themselves. Conversely, I think more like a spiral. A counselor, especially a beginning counselor, starts at the precipice, jumps in and slides ever increasing toward the center, the more complex, the higher numbers in the Fibbonaci sequence. The precipice is the basic listening sequence and like the textbook says, the sequence could not exist without reflection of feelings because thoughts and feelings have an emotional base. But that is just the metaphor for my mind, for simplicity sake I can dig the onion analogy and run with it.

So, we have traversed through skills that focus on us, the helper or counselor. Now, we are moving across the spectrum into uncharted territory. I sense, in this reading, we are embarking on a shift. We helpers have learned to be aware and attentive, with ways to illustrate to the client that we are interested and listening. We now are using our toolbox to aid the client in awareness and attention in the realm of their inner self.

I have always heard in substance abuse counseling that the acknowledgement that one needs help is the first step to recovery. Similarly, when one suffers from anxiety or even has a career or life event in question, the answer is inside them and their awareness of the answer is the first step. Reflecting feelings like a mirror, paraphrasing eloquently or simply into words at all can be such a powerful tool that clients don't even realize that a counselor is using a technique. It is precisely this subtlety that lends it a profound effect. True, some clients will only need a brief acknowledgement of these feelings that lead them or start them on their personal journey. Other clients may need more guidance. I know how important these techniques are particularly with children and adolescents whom will inevitable need more in depth reflection. I found the table/sample interview on page 118-119 very helpful. One box in particular warranted my highlighting.

"Jennifer did three things here. 1. She reflected Stephanies's here and now emotions. 2. She identified a positive assest and strength and 3. She suggested that Stephanie take a breath."

The method reminded me of a poster I would have in my office or something...presence, positives, pause. Focus on the present, examine the positive, and pause to take a breath. In addition to this I brainstormed a few activities for young folks that can help them reflect their feelings that can be helpful to effectively communicate and perhaps expression as an alternative to acting out in anger or fear. I already do these things, on a simplified level, with my toddler. Who, like any other toddler, screams and throws tantrums. I jotted the ideas down and used the shaded box 6.2 on page 121 as a guide.

At the beginning of the chapter Allen Ivey has a quote, similar to the one above.
"The artistic counselor catches the feelings of the client. Our emotional side often guides our thoughts and action, even without our conscious awareness." As natural helpers, we have a knack at peeling back the outer layers and seeing straight to the inner layers, the core. We are well on our way, sharpening the paring knife. I can just feel it.

Active Listening: Intentionality in Thought and Response

"When clients sense that their story is heard, they open up and become more ready for change."
-Ivey,Ivey and Zalquett

I can tell when my husband is on the computer, working when I call him and try to talk to him about something and he has a delayed "mmhmmm" despite whether I asked him a question or not, followed by "Wait, what?" The anger and frustration makes me want to just hang up the phone. Ivey, Ivey and Zalquett mention that what we listen and respond to has a profound influence on how clients talk to us about their concerns. So, like the old saying goes, if we snooze...we lose. In other words, that anger and frustration we all feel when we know we are not being heard, like when on the phone with my husband at work, will cause a giant rift in the client/counselor relationship, regardless of any rapport or relationship built prior.

We have already discussed that awareness is the first step in active listening and body language and eye contact communicate your open-ness and willingness to present to your client, but Encouraging, Paraphrasing and Summarizing seem to culminate these other basic skills. Encouraging, Paraphrasing and Summarizing both communicate to your client that you are actively listening and aid the counselor in ensuring clarification of the client's story or feelings.
However, I think that a beginning counselor must take care not to sound methodical or robotic when paraphrasing or summarizing, for fear of the environment feeling too clinical. To combat this notion, I like that the textbook pointed out that in Mary and Damaris's interview, Mary's style was described as very involved with constant encouragement and smiles. The text calls this "warmth" and reminds us to focus on communicating "warmth" to all clients. This concept particularly resonated with me because I would be in a counseling setting with adolescents or young adults who especially need to feel that their story is being heard and may have a difficult time trusting or being comfortable with another adult.

Another overarching theme that I noticed regarding the use of Encouraging, Paraphrasing and Summarizing is control. These skills can be used by the counselor to have some control over the conversation. I think of using them like a steering wheel. Leaving your hands and 2 o'clock and 4 o'clock shows your client that you are attentive but inherently gives you control over the direction to which you both are heading. While I don't particularly like using the word control, perhaps a better analogy would be that these skills are weights to which a counselor can add or subtract to maintain balance or equilibrium.

Finally, I appreciate the note at the end of the chapter about developing skills to help the bilingual client. To elaborate, I know a little bit of Spanish, but I have always been timid about speaking Spanish, especially to a native speaker. I never thought about the client also feeling inadequacies in their attempts at explaining their feelings in their second language. How genius to, like the example provided, let the client recite aloud their intended emotion in their mother tongue and then restate it in English! Pure genius! AND, I would not have thought to pick up familiar phrases and words in the client's native language and use them in conversation with them. I always thought doing so would deem me a "Spanglish" speaker. I do know that now, I will try out these techniques, if presented with the opportunity. These realizations show me too, that often in our attempts to be culturally sensitive, particularly when our ethnicity is in the majority, our egg-shell, no toe-stepping pseudo-political correctness can actually be detrimental to the client counselor/relationship. In sum, even if it is some form of mangled Spanglish, clear the air. They will surely appreciate a sincere effort and you just might provide them with a good laugh.

Attending and Observation Skills: Complex Simplicity

"Without attention, nothing will happen."
-Ivey, Ivey and Zalaquett

This statement is true. And yet, heightened awareness and attention can seem like missing the forest because of the trees. Such seemingly simple tasks like listening, eye contact, body language...hold the power to move a client's mountains or at least, mole hills. But, everyone has done "it". I know I am the worst. What's the crime, you ask? Story Exchange... I love to talk. So, you tell me a story and I'll tell you mine. The book gives the prime example in the table on pages 59 and 60. Dear Jerome, I can relate.

Wounded and embarrassed thinking back to all those times I have "Jeromed", I began think back to successful counseling sessions. Rather than dwelling on my shortcomings, I mentally noted the attending skills that counselor exhibited that proved successful for me regardless of my willingness or unwillingness or any given day.

First, I will preface with a confession. At the advent of college, like most young adults, I experienced heightened anxiety. Between an unhealthy relationship, being in the wrong major, and an even worse job, I began having panic attacks. I began seeing a counselor, I will just call her Dr. B., for help in dealing with my self-esteem and anxiety. She was a life-saver! This class makes me appreciate her expertise even more, because I can reflect back and note the small but crucial methods she employed. Not only did she exhibit great attending skills but she taught me how to reciprocate.

1. Body Language: Dr. B made me aware that my face did not match my emotions. She pointed out that while I would be telling a very sad story, I did so with a smile on my face. I can only imagine how insincere the situation seemed. While the book mentions mirroring the client's body language, I know that I need to be aware of my personal tendency toward movement dissynchrony. For example, I would smile as a gesture of friendliness (after all it is how a Southern girl is taught) not matter the tone of the moment.

2. Vocal qualities: Dr. B always knew when to point out that I needed to slow down or when silence was necessary to open a pathway to open-ness. She would say, "I am hearing in your tone that you are phrenetic. Let's do a short breathing exercise to focus." And sometimes when I was particularly closed off and stressed, she would simply be silent and let me work through a guided meditation.

It is these little things that make for a memorable counseling experience, so complex and yet so simple. Attention so much is possible with attention.