-Ivey,Ivey and Zalquett
I can tell when my husband is on the computer, working when I call him and try to talk to him about something and he has a delayed "mmhmmm" despite whether I asked him a question or not, followed by "Wait, what?" The anger and frustration makes me want to just hang up the phone. Ivey, Ivey and Zalquett mention that what we listen and respond to has a profound influence on how clients talk to us about their concerns. So, like the old saying goes, if we snooze...we lose. In other words, that anger and frustration we all feel when we know we are not being heard, like when on the phone with my husband at work, will cause a giant rift in the client/counselor relationship, regardless of any rapport or relationship built prior.
We have already discussed that awareness is the first step in active listening and body language and eye contact communicate your open-ness and willingness to present to your client, but Encouraging, Paraphrasing and Summarizing seem to culminate these other basic skills. Encouraging, Paraphrasing and Summarizing both communicate to your client that you are actively listening and aid the counselor in ensuring clarification of the client's story or feelings.
However, I think that a beginning counselor must take care not to sound methodical or robotic when paraphrasing or summarizing, for fear of the environment feeling too clinical. To combat this notion, I like that the textbook pointed out that in Mary and Damaris's interview, Mary's style was described as very involved with constant encouragement and smiles. The text calls this "warmth" and reminds us to focus on communicating "warmth" to all clients. This concept particularly resonated with me because I would be in a counseling setting with adolescents or young adults who especially need to feel that their story is being heard and may have a difficult time trusting or being comfortable with another adult.
Another overarching theme that I noticed regarding the use of Encouraging, Paraphrasing and Summarizing is control. These skills can be used by the counselor to have some control over the conversation. I think of using them like a steering wheel. Leaving your hands and 2 o'clock and 4 o'clock shows your client that you are attentive but inherently gives you control over the direction to which you both are heading. While I don't particularly like using the word control, perhaps a better analogy would be that these skills are weights to which a counselor can add or subtract to maintain balance or equilibrium.
Finally, I appreciate the note at the end of the chapter about developing skills to help the bilingual client. To elaborate, I know a little bit of Spanish, but I have always been timid about speaking Spanish, especially to a native speaker. I never thought about the client also feeling inadequacies in their attempts at explaining their feelings in their second language. How genius to, like the example provided, let the client recite aloud their intended emotion in their mother tongue and then restate it in English! Pure genius! AND, I would not have thought to pick up familiar phrases and words in the client's native language and use them in conversation with them. I always thought doing so would deem me a "Spanglish" speaker. I do know that now, I will try out these techniques, if presented with the opportunity. These realizations show me too, that often in our attempts to be culturally sensitive, particularly when our ethnicity is in the majority, our egg-shell, no toe-stepping pseudo-political correctness can actually be detrimental to the client counselor/relationship. In sum, even if it is some form of mangled Spanglish, clear the air. They will surely appreciate a sincere effort and you just might provide them with a good laugh.
No comments:
Post a Comment