Observing and Reflecting: The Inner Layers of the Onion

"The most effective interviewer or counselor consciously or subconsciously-develops proficiency in the art of tuning in with feelings."

-Ivey, Ivey and Zalaquett

Ah, feelings...now we are getting to the meat on the bone. But, with it comes increasing intensity and complexity. The textbook mentions that feelings are layered, like an onion. Yet, like feelings, the process of accessing those implicit feelings is as layered as the feelings themselves. Conversely, I think more like a spiral. A counselor, especially a beginning counselor, starts at the precipice, jumps in and slides ever increasing toward the center, the more complex, the higher numbers in the Fibbonaci sequence. The precipice is the basic listening sequence and like the textbook says, the sequence could not exist without reflection of feelings because thoughts and feelings have an emotional base. But that is just the metaphor for my mind, for simplicity sake I can dig the onion analogy and run with it.

So, we have traversed through skills that focus on us, the helper or counselor. Now, we are moving across the spectrum into uncharted territory. I sense, in this reading, we are embarking on a shift. We helpers have learned to be aware and attentive, with ways to illustrate to the client that we are interested and listening. We now are using our toolbox to aid the client in awareness and attention in the realm of their inner self.

I have always heard in substance abuse counseling that the acknowledgement that one needs help is the first step to recovery. Similarly, when one suffers from anxiety or even has a career or life event in question, the answer is inside them and their awareness of the answer is the first step. Reflecting feelings like a mirror, paraphrasing eloquently or simply into words at all can be such a powerful tool that clients don't even realize that a counselor is using a technique. It is precisely this subtlety that lends it a profound effect. True, some clients will only need a brief acknowledgement of these feelings that lead them or start them on their personal journey. Other clients may need more guidance. I know how important these techniques are particularly with children and adolescents whom will inevitable need more in depth reflection. I found the table/sample interview on page 118-119 very helpful. One box in particular warranted my highlighting.

"Jennifer did three things here. 1. She reflected Stephanies's here and now emotions. 2. She identified a positive assest and strength and 3. She suggested that Stephanie take a breath."

The method reminded me of a poster I would have in my office or something...presence, positives, pause. Focus on the present, examine the positive, and pause to take a breath. In addition to this I brainstormed a few activities for young folks that can help them reflect their feelings that can be helpful to effectively communicate and perhaps expression as an alternative to acting out in anger or fear. I already do these things, on a simplified level, with my toddler. Who, like any other toddler, screams and throws tantrums. I jotted the ideas down and used the shaded box 6.2 on page 121 as a guide.

At the beginning of the chapter Allen Ivey has a quote, similar to the one above.
"The artistic counselor catches the feelings of the client. Our emotional side often guides our thoughts and action, even without our conscious awareness." As natural helpers, we have a knack at peeling back the outer layers and seeing straight to the inner layers, the core. We are well on our way, sharpening the paring knife. I can just feel it.